I'm telling my mummy!

I'm telling my mummy, and won't she be mad!
I'm telling her that you've been blatantly bad.
You called me a nerd and you told me I stink,
and I didn't even ask you what you think!
You called me a geek and you called me a dummy,
so guess what, I'm going to go tell my mummy!

(I used an illustration from Scott-C, one of my favorite artists, currently. I'm sure he won't mind, but don't tell him, just in case he does, OK? Please do go check his blogspot, though. He really is great.)

Tuck it in, mister

Tuck in your shirttail and surely you'll be

a handsome and upstanding feller.

For if you don't tuck in your shirttail, you see,

it may just get caught in an airplane propeller.

Claire's Hair

There once was a lady named Claire,
who had such magnificent hair.
She won an award for her beautiful gourd

at the big Alabama State Fair.

Roy

There once was a fellow named Roy,
and ever since he was a boy,
he'd play with his food, which we all know is rude,
but Roy thinks his food is a toy...

But it's not.

Seriously.

Big Billy the Braggart

Big Billy loves to boast,
Bragging that he has the most
Boasting that he's just the best,
Better, far, than all the rest
Traveled over all the world,
Kissed the most exotic girls
Climbed the mountains, sailed the seas,
ate the most expensive cheese
Met the Queen, met the King,
Kissed the Pope upon the ring
Friends with all the movie-stars,
Drives the fastest racing cars
Anything you've done, he's done it,
Any prize you've won, he's won it
Anything you say, he's said it,
Any book you've read, he's read it
Billy's boasting never ends,
That's probably why he has no friends.

A new story... perhaps

"There once was a lizard, so scaly and green,
so ornery and ugly and smelly and mean.
He'd stalk through the forest on Saturday night,
just looking for something delicious to bite.
Sometimes he'd eat rabbits, sometimes he'd eat squirrels,
he'd eat little boys and he'd eat little girls.
And after he'd eaten, he'd hiccup and smile,
oh he was a scoundrel, that scaly reptile.
One Saturday night, the old lizard was creeping
and came upon something that seemed to be sleeping.
The cute little critter had cute little feet
he looked very yummy- delicious to eat.
And there he slept sweetly, with tightly-closed eyes
the lizard would never have guessed the disguise.
For the critter he thought to be taking a nap
was really just acting as bait for a trap!
And before the old lizard could take half a bite,
he hung upside-down on that Saturday night.
And soon that old lizard had started to wiggle,
he laughed and he snickered, he chuckled and giggled.
The cute little critter, and all his friends too,
tickled the lizard until he turned blue.
He laughed and he laughed down until his last breath,
and the grumpy old lizard was tickled to death.