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Santa Don't Diet

This year I left Santa some carrots

So he could be thin and good-looking

This morning I see

There's nothin' for me

But a note that says "Next Year, Leave Cookies"

A guy like me...

I'm not sad, I never cry,
I just got somethin' in my eye
Ask me once, I'll tell you twice,
A guy like me don't cry!
I've beaten people black and blue,
I got a really big tattoo,
I never BOO, I never HOO,
A guy like me don't cry!
I live in darkened alley-ways,
I fight all night and drink all day,
You'd better run the other way,
A guy like me don't cry!
So, you saw me crash my motorbike
And thought you thunk you saw me cry,
I just got a pebble in my eye,
A guy like me don't cry!
Well, if you insist, I won't be rude,
I'll come inside and have some food,
If you'll excuse my rotten mood,
It's just that I've been cryin'...

And I normally don't,

So don't tell anyone, OK?